Friends are quiet important in our lives. They cheer us up when we are down. They make us happy and giddy during fun times. We share memories with them and sometimes these memories could be, uhm, steamy and sexy ones. Hell yeah, I’m talking about friends with benefits.
Having friends with benefits can really be beneficial. They basically give you your much needed “needs” without the extra baggage of a full time relationship. Sex is just a biological need that we cannot deny ourselves. I mean, yeah you could “handle” your own needs if really comes down to that, but good old sex can really make you happy. Nothing beats skin to skin contact. The natural high after good old sex giving you that warm glow. Also sex is the best exercise ever, period.
So how do I find a Bed Buddy?
Well this part can be a bit tricky. You might of course end up ruining your friendship, not to mention also embarrass yourself. But if you plan it out and you can find that person who can supply your demands.
- Hang out with different sorts of people – You got to make the connection first, otherwise it would just be a one night stand. Hanging out with people allows you to mingle and get to know different sorts of person.
- Go online – Chatting with people online can lead to finding that booty call you need. You can get to know a person darn well by chatting with them. Just don’t expect too much in terms of the physical appearance department.
- Drink with your office buddies – Wine makes you fine. I mean it does lessen a person inhibitions and allows you guys to transition from just casual conversations to steamy dirty talk till you do it in the bar bath room and then repeat the week after.
How Do I handle This Type of Relationship?
Getting into this sort of arrangement means following a certain set of rules. Is it just purely sex and no falling in love? Or are you guys willing to take things further. Will it affect your other relationships, work, schedule and life? You got to figure this part. You don’t really need to have a sit down meeting for this but at least lay out some ground rules for it.
- Always have SAFE sex – You don’t want to get pregnant with someone you don’t plan raising a kid with or having a kid you don’t even want yet (or ever). You of course don’t want itch down there by getting STD. If you guys are doing contraception, still use a condom to make sure there is no blaming when one gets herpes out of the blue. If ever both of you are tested recently and both are clean and you are not sleeping with different partners then you can skip the condom (which I don’t really advise) and just maintain the pill or something. Of course using a condom is still a must. ALWAYS HAVE ONE HANDY JUST IN CASE (this goes for both men and women).
- Don’t expect too much – Being FUBUs (f**k buddies) mean you don’t ask too much from the relationship. You are but two consenting adults willing to provide sex and pleasure to one another. Don’t be clingy or whiny, or worse don’t be a like a desperate, lonely housewife (no I don’t mean all housewives, just the desperate ones) berating the partner to be always present. Set your boundaries. Don’t call or text too much, it might scare the other person away. You are just friends, nothing more nothing less. Don’t push it further than that unless you’re willing to get hurt and be heart broken. If you find yourself falling in love for the other person, think things over before jumping into decisions.
- Always keep the sex hot and steamy – People do this because they want GREAT SEX. You have to perform. Both people should be willing to explore to provide each other’s needs. Role playing can be a fun way to keep things exciting. Having restroom quickies in the office can be fun too. I think that people who succeed in reaping the benefits of this set up are those who are willing to explore all in the name of pleasure and sex.
- Still keep the friendship – I mean when the sex is not ongoing you guys should have some stuff to talk about too. You don’t need to act like an old married couple but at least you should have fun with one another. Have enough friendship factor to keep things light and easy. This allows you guys to understand if one is busy and wants to spend some time not screwing the other brains outs. Believe it or not you can be real buddies too, playing video games and stuff like that (much like the movie, right?).
What if I Fall In Love with Him or Her?
Well this is normally a big no-no in this kind of set up. Falling in love means one might get hurt or you guys can drift apart. You can turn into a psycho obsessive buddy who thinks they are now in a relationship. On the other hand, you guys can have the same feelings which would be good because you already have good chemistry. You have to talk it out and figure things out
- Don’t go on mum if you feel something – You can’t just go ahead romping with each other if you already have intense head over heels feelings for the other person. This would just make things worse. You got to be honest. You got to be prepared to left if the other one does not want to have any further relationship with you.
- Don’t act strange – Don’t start being all cooey and sweet all of a sudden. That is just plain weird. Get a grip of yourself first. You are not bf/gf, realize that and then make your move. Decide if you should forget your feelings or just end this setup.
- Talk – Being secretive about how you feel won’t help you. You will end up resentful and feeling neglected. Tell the other person. This might not go as you plan but it would sure clear things up.
So I hope all my advice helped out. Friends with benefits can be a great setup. It can fulfill your needs. This should not be too complicated. After all, friends should make life happy and easier for you. Whatever happens, BE PREPARED.